letter fifteen

10.5.2010

Dear Bartender,

the past few days have brimmed with social goings on. and, despite feeling the drain of "on the go" I motored on beside you. because, you made a good point. these are lingering moments in this town we've resided in for what seems like ages. soon, we'll no longer be able to do these things. see these people (as much). we must do it now because we can. it's fleeting and you recognize this fact and encourage both of us to sacrifice sleep and time spent mulling over chores and projects so we may enjoy these last moments in this city. in our condo. the place that's been home for over six years.

you feel lovey and feel abnormal feeling so. professing so. i pull into a parking spot and shuffle toward home. someone calls my name. my full name. i turn to see you a little ways ahead. we walk toward each other. perfect timing. returning from work at once. seemingly together. i laugh watching you run toward me with a look of eager surprise. you rattle off our plans for the evening. a walk to our favorite burger pub in spite of potential rainfall. a pit stop at the thirsty scholar to see if your "wednesday night crew" is there. then, dolphins vs. patriots game at our house, surrounded by our local friends. just like old times.

i rush to clear away the workday from my person. shed clothes. refresh with new ones, hair tousle and sneakers for the walk. i head to toss out the recycling while you warn me not to do so. i got it. don't you dare bring it out. the challenge only fuels my want to fulfill this mini-chore before we leave. least i may do. you run after me, collect the pail and we grab items from the pail in unison. you, bottles, cans. me, cardboard and paper bags. shuffle, shuffle. toss, toss. done.

my hands feel grubby. you turn me round and hold me in front of our door. i'm so desperately in love with you. love in your eyes. warms me but also makes me shy. i want to freeze this moment. i also want to be inside, away from prying glances of snooty neighbors. you apologize for being uncharacteristically sweet. i say, please don't stop. you admit to not knowing why you've been feeling this way lately. i acknowledge similar thoughts. wonder aloud if it's because of everything we're committing to do together these days. combined plans. hopes. they must bring us together.

the next day, you agree with this sentiment. hold me in your arms. tired from a night spent late with friends. two nights in a row. my lunch break spent in your arms. solidifying our feelings into something other than words.