letter eleven

8.16.2010

Dear Bartender,

still waiting....still waiting...cue the appropriate song...

more papers were signed this weekend. the edge of signing these documents was somewhat curbed by doing so at our attorney's home. the meaning of the signing, however, was not dampened by the location. the pens clicked all the same as they would have elsewhere while we signed our names here, here, initialed there and there. the breakdown of everything. the projection of the next five-to-ten years. it's all so real.

after the signing session, papers are stowed and discussion covers the rumors around town of how we apparently already own the bar and whom we've hired, etc. etc., the improvements you plan to make in four days before a soft opening. are we just weeks away from closing now? nothing is set quite yet. appraisal is still needed. please may it schedule for this week.

this moment is so very strange. we must plan for the beginning without the excitement of doing so. nothing is set. yet, everything must be ready at a signature's notice to begin.

renovations. drink list. interior improvements. tap line installation.

i see the weight of it all bearing down on you. the stress of the process is a norm. but, the terror of making this move, taking on this responsibility without the confirmation of knowing it's all going to turn out as you plan, well fine sir, that's plaguing your mind now. after viewing those numbers, and viewing your worried eyes, it's my burden too.

I've never shared such an immense burden with you. a burden that you strive to hold solely upon your person. your thoughts. your hopes.

sure, I'm beside you. we write the business plan. we discuss the theme, drinks, um, everything. even so, this is your business, your next step, your decade's worth of experience being tested. I'm a partner, but not the one giving birth to this business.

i find myself caressing your face more these days. taking your hand. offering comfort to sway those worry lines elsewhere. but the reality is thick and you refuse to be distracted. and, babe, it's this intense focus that has gotten you this far. and it will carry you forward toward success. fear is in the idea of failure. would be failing yourself more, however, if you stayed where you are despising your daily grind?

being here is an accomplishment in itself. i hope, someday, that you may realize this. you are too far ahead in will and mind right now to see. i perhaps i see for you. so i may tell you so. someday.

xo

your girl